MEETING ME UNDERWATER

“They seek wool and flax and work with willing hands. Their hands are busy spinning thread, their fingers twisting fiber. They extend a helping hand to the poor and reach out their arms to the needy. Their households have no fear of snowy winters, for everyone has warm clothes. They make their own covering of tapestry, their clothing is silk and purple. They make fine linen, sell it, and deliver sashes to the merchants. Strength and honour are their clothing and they shall rejoice in time to come.”

I have purposely run from the famous Proverbs 31, commonly titled ‘A virtuous woman,’ ‘The good wife,’ or ‘A wife of quality.’ I honestly don’t remember hearing a sermon directly about this growing up, but I was aware of the chapter. When I came to the US and attended a Southern Baptist-affiliated college, this chapter was taught as an idealistic model for Christian women. I and many of my friends were not even married, but this chapter became THE navigation to be a virtuous woman: married, helpmate to her husband, devoted mother. When this chapter was referenced, I closed off my auditory nerves, and this was a healthy decision for me back then.

What I didn’t see was that this woman is an artist. For my recent art retreat, I was looking for textile art references from the Scriptures to read during my Korean patchwork workshop, and I stumbled upon this same Proverbs 31. I read it in multiple languages and used different translations. This artist creates joyfully and consistently with her favorite colors like purple and scarlet. Wool, flax and silk are her main mediums. Not only does she make beautiful things to protect her family, it’s not hard to imagine her art providing coverings for community in need. My pride blinded me to see her as an unrelatable, self-debasing housewife, not a fine community fiber artist who is a protector and provider to her household and community. (Please note that ‘mother’ is a title that I respect the most in this world! And I recognize my experience with this chapter might be very different from yours.)

Korean patchwork workshop in the fiber art studio

I’m so thankful that the art retreat reconnected me to this scripture, and I am excited to share more about my experience there! I had a wonderful time at Grunewald Guild in Washington. Out of 40+ online participants, only 5 artists and two facilitators gathered for the in-person retreat. As an introvert, I was excited for a small gathering. Upon arrival at the Seattle airport, we discovered that we all are introverts! From the busy highways of Seattle, our van quickly submerged into small, peaceful plains of green. One distinctive look out of the window included mighty mountains with deep green cedar trees and a river running beside the road. Unlike the peaceful water I usually look at in Han River or KY Lake, these waters were rolling with a strong current. I invited the Holy Spirit to live within me, active like that Washington water.

We arrived at the Grunewald Guild where the retreat center was hidden in a small town called Plain. Imagine lots of cabins hidden in a wood. There were at least a dozen buildings, but our stay was at the fiber art studio with big front windows to receive natural light. The studio boasts weaving equipment and endless yarn. Our individual bedrooms were filled with beautiful art and this note of blessing by Mollie Taylor:

May the spirit of the Guild enfold you,
May the Beauty inspire you,
May the quiet nourish you,
May the conversation stir you.
And may you sense in this richness,
the depth of your belonging -
to community, to the Earth,
and to God.
- Mollie Taylor

It must have been your generous prayers for my migrating journey, because I retreated with a fabulous group of artists - a Nigerian-descended musician born in the UK, a painter living in Nicaragua as a missionary, two biracial artist-theologians, and a poet writing beautifully about her family transition - all aged from our 20’s to 60’s. We were only a handful, but God allowed a diverse group to spend seven days together. Everyone was going through transition, and more than half of us were experiencing tension between living in two different countries as home.

During the retreat, I felt God’s presence most through the river and water: the rolling water of nameless rivers along the way to the Guild; the Wenatchee River that flows beside the Guild. Through a painting of water as well I felt a strong pull from God. On the fifth day, our facilitator invited us for visio divina, the practice of asking God to speak through a piece of visual art, over a painting that the founder of Grunewald Guild, Richard Caemmerer, painted. This painting depicted a hill and its reflection over a calm, deep blue water. The sky was yellow, almost brown, puzzling to be dawn or sunset. The facilitator guided us to lay our eyes on the painting, place ourselves in the painting, and hear what the Spirit is telling us. I found myself buried beneath water. Mixed emotions - fear, alienation, lostness, isolation, gloom - flooded in that moment, which eventually charged me with desperation to be found by God. I felt confronted in disconnection from God but also assured in compassion of God. I have Creator of the Universe who meets me even underwater. Creator of the whale is after me. And as I kept staring, the painting suddenly placed me in Cheonji lake, a volcanic crater lake sitting on top of North Korea’s highest mountain, with the question, ‘How long, Lord? How long until You send my people in North Korea the Great Fish?’ Overwhelmed by questions and emotion, I ran back to my room, hid behind the closet, and cried for two hours. I wondered, ‘Either You will send the Great Fish, or make me walk on the water.’ With so many questions, I needed to make something. One of the artists let me borrow her watercolor supplies, so I went down to Wenatchee River and recreated the painting I saw. This process of watercoloring using the River water became a practice of embodying the Holy Spirit in my art.

While I came to this retreat with a mind to produce more, I dropped the idea of making this retreat “worth what I paid for.” Instead, the restful nature of the time carried me to an assurance that it is okay to be. My fellow artists spoke about similar feelings and how we are all discerning our vocation with God’s lead. Desiring to do art and know the Creator was our shared foundation, so we did not have to explain why art remains essential for our faith. On the last night of our retreat, I got to jump into the Wenatchee River with a poet artist who was solely jumping in to connect with me. What a friend!

Birdlovers!I believe it’s your prayers that freed me to receive spiritual and artistic rest during this trip. Thank you for your prayers, support, and love! I pray your summer would be filled with water and the Spirit who meets us even underwater. Love you!

Would you lovingly pray for Songbird in these ways?

1. That I would deepen my relationship with fellow artists.

2. That the Spirit would develop me as protector and provider.

3. That I make friends in Paducah.

4. That what I learned from the retreat would become a trellis of my life.

Nesting Together #2

A month after the retreat, I was able to reconnect with the poet artist at her home in Highland, CA where she graciously hosted David and me. Her house was filled with multiple editions of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and many English novels, and somehow I knew that having a permanent bookshelf filled with my favorite books would make me feel at home. So I'm wondering:

"What is something that makes you feel at home?"

Birdwatcher, birdlover...and birdfeeder!

If you want to support my art journey financially, I want to thank you! Your seed will be a source for me to explore the world of creation, and encourage me to make beautiful things.